Gettin' Down: A Guide to Asking for Head

Escrito por: Emily Regal



Tiempo de lectura 4 min

Hey there, fellow pleasure-seekers! Let's dive into a topic that's often whispered about but rarely given the spotlight it deserves: asking for head. Yep, we're talking about oral pleasure, folks! But before you go popping the question to your partner, let's chat about how to do it with style, grace, and above all, respect for everyone involved.

How to Ask

Asking for intimacy can be vulnerable, especially if there’s not the sweetest history there.

Something that we love to remind our friends here at Balls is the importance of not focusing on the big O, but the connection itself - this will naturally make the entire experience all the more great. Whether it’s your spouse, a new relationship, or purposefully casual, connection never misses. Some practicals that we recommend when it comes to asking your partner for head.

1. Before you even ask for head, check yourself.

Are you okay if they say no? Sometimes being told “no”, or “I’m not in the mood” can gut punch a little. But when you’re asking someone, remember that you’re asking and they have all the right to say no, just like you have all the right to say no.

2. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s a no.

We’re not in the biz of non-consensual anything. And while it may be tempting to take their sluggish “okay, sure” as a green light, it’d be best to ask them once more with the reassurance that you won’t be mad at them if they don't want to.

3. Asking for head is sexy! They won’t know what you want “for sure” unless you tell them.

Here's some language we’d recommend to help get the conversation rolling:

  • “I would love ____, does that feel fun or exciting at all?”
  • “Remember that one time you did _____? I really liked that. Could we do that again?”
  • “I’ve been wanting to try ____ a little more. Does that sound fun to you?”

The importance of leaving it open-ended as a question invites your partner to safely share their thoughts and partake in whatever you two (or three) are choosing to do next.

Ways we don’t recommend asking:

  • “Hey, do this.”

Just... don't. Unless you and your partner have jointly decided that commands are OK, you should ALWAYS start by asking. Again, asking helps create a safe space to try new things, say no, or even get more excited than you would if you were guessing or assuming.

Self-Care and Hygiene

First things first, let's talk about self-care and hygiene. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Isn't it a little awkward to discuss cleanliness in the bedroom?" Well, sure, it can be a tad uncomfortable, but trust me, a little attention to detail goes a long way when it comes to making your partner feel comfortable and eager to please when giving and/or receiving head.

So, before you even think about asking for some oral lovin', take a moment to freshen up. A quick shower never hurt anyone, right?

And while you're at it, consider doing a bit of grooming, just to show them that your, um, head is in the right place. Remember that some people prefer natural, while others prefer fully-shaved. In either case, a little trim can make a world of difference. Plus, it shows your partner that you care about their experience and want to make them fall head over heels - so to speak.

Oh, and speaking of grooming, have you heard about The Archibald Trimmer?

The newly-released Archibald from BALLS™ features precision blades, ergonomic design and a no-slip grip. It's waterproof and comes with its own carry strap for use on the go. 

Managing your intimate hair - whether it's a quick snip or a full Brazilian - has rarely been this easy. With three colors (Blue, Black, and Mauve) the Archibald fits whatever your style may be. 

If you don't like it, send it back, guaranteed. How sweet is that?


Now, let's talk about consent. This is non-negotiable, folks. Just because you're in the mood for some oral action doesn't mean your partner is automatically on board. You know what they say? Two heads are better than one.

So, how do you broach the subject without making things awkward? Simple: just ask! Something like, "Hey, I was thinking it might be fun to try something new tonight. How do you feel about giving/receiving some oral pleasure?" opens up the conversation in a respectful and non-pressure way.

And remember, no means no, so if your partner isn't feeling it, respect their boundaries and move on.


Of course, let's not forget about pleasure! Oral sex should be enjoyable for everyone involved, so don't be afraid to communicate your desires and preferences to your partner. Whether you like it slow and sensual or fast and furious, there's no shame in letting your partner know what gets you going.

When it comes to oral sex, everyone's preferences are different. Some folks enjoy the slow burn, while others are more ride-or-die. Don't be afraid to communicate your desires and guide your partner along the way. Whether it's a gentle flick of the tongue or a firm grasp of the hips, let your partner know what feels good and what doesn't.


And last but certainly not least, let's talk about protection. Just because you're not engaging in penetrative sex doesn't mean you can skip the condoms.

STIs can still be transmitted through oral sex, so it's important to play it safe. That's why I recommend stocking up on Sense's Dotted Latex Condoms – they not only provide protection but also add a little extra sensation to the experience.


So there you have it, folks – a guide to asking for head with care, consent, and confidence. Communication is key, so don't be afraid to speak up and let your partner know what you want.

Remember, stay safe, stay consensual, and above all, have fun exploring the vast and wondrous world of pleasure. Cheers to good times and even better orgasms!

And above all, have fun and enjoy the ride!

A headshot of Emily Regal

Written By: Emily Regal Social Media Manager and Blog Editor

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