We use patent-pending SackSafe™ Technology on our blades, micro-trimming teeth and black ceramic blade which glides across skin causing zero sensitivity. The blades come lubricated and ready to go!

6,000RPM Motor Battery Ni-MH 600mAh*2 Running time: 1 hour USB Charging cable 12v Waterproof & Shock-resistant casing - incase you slip (😬)

Where do you ship and how much?

We ship everywhere, even North Korea 🇰🇵. Shipping is totally free and tracked (we also use discreet packaging)

Do you offer any warranty?

We offer free replacements if anything goes wrong within a year! We’ll even pay for return shipping.

What does it come with?

BALLS™ Trimmer SackSafe™ Blade 3/6mm & 9/12mm Guards Cleaning Brush USB charging cable

BALLS™ Ultimate Package

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A powerhouse trio: this is the ultimate in ball-scaping. We’re talking about our bestselling BALLS™ Trimmer, a pair of SackSafe™ Blades to keep you going and our specially formulated BALLS™ Lotion for the freshest of grooming aftercare.

$109 BALLS™ Ultimate Package

• BALLS™ Trimmer
• BALLS™ Lotion
• 2x BALLS™ Blade
• SackSafe™ Guard
• BALLS™ Cradle
• Charging Cable
• Cleaning Brush

Add To Sack
$99 BALLS™ Ultimate Package + Subscription
Save $10

• BALLS™ Trimmer & Accessories
• BALLS™ Lotion
• 2x BALLS™ Blade
• Blades Every 3 Months For Only $19 - Stay Sharp!
• Extended BALLS of Steel Warranty
• Save 20% On Blades!
• Easily Cancel Anytime

Add To Sack
$79 BALLS™ Ultimate Package

Add To Sack

Payment channels:

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Before your next shag

After football

In the shower

Before a night at the pub

Before a bad decision

Designed With
Your Junk In Mind

Blades of Glory

Our goal has always been “No snags on your bags”. Our precision ceramic blades get the job done better than any steel blade ever could.
You’re In Control

With our SafeSack Adjustable Guards, you’re in the driver’s seat. You get to decide exactly how you want your coin purse and man muscle (or, for that matter, your pom pom) to look.
Waterproof AF

Step into the shower with your new friend. Our trimmer makes it easy as pie to incorporate trimming of the tea bags into your routine.
Large and In Charge

A well-crafted mane makes your main event more …. main. Now you can groom where you want, when you want, and how you want. Hold the applause, please.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does this thing work?

We use SackSafe Guards as well as top-quality micro-trimming teeth, black ceramic blades which glide across skin causing zero sensitivity and a 6,200 RPM motor that’s ideally tuned to trim hair of all thicknesses and textures. This minimizes tugs, nicks, pulls, and snags. Unlike your partner, the blades come lubricated and ready to go!
What’s up with the blade subscription?

It’s not just about receiving a fresh blade of glory every 3 months to keep your package pristine, it’s also about surprise gifts, cool collectables, and hilarious exclusive content. Your subscription comes with our “Balls of Steel” warranty. This means that even if you’ve had your trimmer for years, we will fix or replace anything to keep your balls safe and happy. Our 24/7 customer support with real humans is balls to the wall. You can cancel anytime after your first charge, or pause the subscription whenever you want. Pulling out of your subscription doesn’t mean headaches or drama like it does with your partner.
What are the specs?

6,200RPM Motor that purrs like a kitten
Battery Ni-MH 600mAh*2 (if you know what this means, you might be a scientist or engineer and we pray your balls are getting some action)
Running time: 1 hour (that’s longer than your partner)
USB Charging cable 12v (you don’t have enough cables)
Waterproof & Shock-resistant casing - to keep you from slipping up.
Can I use the trimmer on my body?

The Balls™ Trimmer is designed for sensitive areas, not just balls! It works great as a body trimmer. It even performs like a champ on the bearded clam. And don’t forget your butt crack.
Do you offer any warranty?

You bet we do! We have a killer customer service team with an incredible satisfaction record. (unlike your partner). We aren’t satisfied until you are. Our team of real humans will happily offer free replacements if anything goes wrong within a year. But wait! There’s more. If you opt into our Blades of Glory subscription program, you will part of our “Balls of Steel” warranty which covers your BALLS trimmer and all its parts for years. No questions asked.
Will my life be changed forever?

We aren’t making any grandiose promises here, but if trimming your bush makes your main member look taller, gives you more of that quiet confidence and swagger, and makes you smell and itch less…well, then, your dating and mating life might see some drastic improvements. From there, the possibilities are endless. Our trimmer might lead to the best date of your life. You could fall in love and have an offspring that turns into the next Elon Musk. You’ll retire at 45 and be set for life. Dream big, bruh.
What does it come with?

BALLS™ Trimmer
SackSafe™ Blade
3/4mm & 5/6mm Guards
BALLS™ Cradle
Cleaning Brush
USB charging cable