Any man who has ever dared to tackle a bit of ball-scaping knows it’s a delicate procedure. You go in thinking ‘this will be a breeze’ but 20 minutes later, your dignity’s in tatters and your danglers look like Yoda had a fight… and lost.
Thankfully there’s a pain-free way to get your balls looking banging. All it takes is a bit of care, attention and the right tools. Read on for our ultimate guide for how to shave your balls...
It sounds obvious, but being comfortable and relaxed is everything. Light a candle, repeat a mantra (‘balls on fleek, balls on fleek’) or whatever it takes to find your zen. Failing that, just make sure you’re in a position where you can comfortably reach your balls, whether that’s in the shower or on the toilet. You want it to be nice and private, and preferably not in a public space. That would be awkward.
We recommend the shower, it's easy to clean up and with the Balls™ Trimmer, it's fully waterproof!
Trimming is winning
This ain't a race. There are no prizes for diving in headfirst. You have to walk before you can run, so if things are looking pretty hairy down there, get those scissors out and trim to around 1cm of length. Trust us, it’s gonna make it SO much easier to shave after.
Warm 'em up
In this game, chilly balls are silly balls. Those bad boys need to be nice and warm, so hop into the shower first. This will lubricate the skin, stimulate blood flow and open the pores – all of which is gonna help the blade glide across your balls more gracefully than Messi cruising past four defenders.
The main event - Shaving Your Balls
We’re getting down to the nitty gritty here for how to properly shave your balls, so pay attention. According to a study, a quarter of people have suffered at least one injury while tending to their pubes, with the scrotum being the most common place for men to receive a battle wound, mid-trim.
We know you’re not about that life, so tools are key here. Put down that rusty razor and invest in something ball-friendly. We recommend the BALLS™ Trimmer for shaving your balls, as its SackSafe™ technology is designed to glide over your nuts without causing snags or cuts.
Now onto the method. You have two options here:
1) The Pulling technique (smoothest)
This is the one for you if you’re after an ultra-smooth finish with a razor, and have some time on your hands. Getting the surface as flat and taut as possible is key here. We’re not suggesting you iron your balls or anything crazy; just move your skin around to prevent snags, and use slow, deliberate strokes. If in doubt, practise makes perfect.
Get comfortable with your balls "Move your skin around to prevent snags"
2) The Hover technique (safest)
This is probably the safest technique of them all and the quickest if you’re in a rush. Winner! If you have a BALLS™ Trimmer, the hover method means you can shave your balls without the blade even touching your skin. Yep, it’s Harry Potter levels of magic. The black ceramic blade safely trims the hair without any snags, leaving just a tiny bit of hair left on the balls – and most importantly, there’s zero risk of cuts.
"The hover method means you can shave your balls without the blade even touching your skin"
What not to do
Go too fast
You only get one pair of balls so treat 'em with the care and love they deserve. Slow and steady strokes are your friend here, and to be fair, that’s probably a lesson you could apply elsewhere if you catch our drift… Besides, toilet paper dabs on your balls are a bit of a mood killer.
Lastly, Rinse Off, Get Fresh, Clean up!
All that’s left to do is rinse off, apply a little post-shave balm if that’s your jam, and pat yourself on the back: you’ve just levelled up your balls! You might also want to grab a broom. Apparently, pubey floors don't go down too well with some people.
If you’ve got any other questions about the art of shaving your balls, drop us a message! firstname.lastname@example.org