The Story of A Man Who Values His Groin and Sanity

Listen. I didn’t think I’d become that guy—the one writing about trimmers and pubes on the internet. But here we are. Because sometimes, love is compromise. And sometimes, it’s buying your girlfriend her own BALLS trimmer so she’ll stop using yours to shave her pubes.

Let’s rewind.

The Incident(s)

It started off innocently. I went to grab my trimmer one day—you know, my precious grooming tool I trusted to keep the family jewels neat and tidy. I turned it on, and something felt... off. There was a certain hum in the motor that sounded like it had seen things. Been through battles. Like it was whispering, “Help me.”

Then I noticed it: a lone, unfamiliar hair. Curly. Defiantly red. I’m a brunette.

That’s when I knew: She’d used it. Again.

When confronted, she didn’t deny it. She laughed and said, “Yours works better than mine. Besides, we’re close. What’s a little shared stubble between lovers?”

Um. Boundaries, Jessica. That’s what.

So after a few heated (but loving) debates, and an entire episode of me googling “Can you catch stuff from someone else’s trimmer?”, I took action. I went to BALLS.co and bought her a gift that would benefit both of us:
The Archibald Full Body Trimmer — a sleek, sexy, and utterly badass grooming device that says, “Please stop stealing mine.”

Why the Archibald? Oh, Let Me Count the Ways.

You may be thinking, “Why not just get her any old trimmer?”
Because friend, BALLS knows what it’s doing—especially when it comes to sensitive terrain. The Archibald isn’t just a trimmer; it’s a pubic Picasso brush. A below-the-belt Batmobile. A majestic Excalibur forged to banish ingrowns forever.

Let me break it down:

• No more razor burn, irritation, or ingrown hair—this baby was built to be gentle on intimate skin. Unlike her old drugstore shaver, which had all the grace of a weed whacker on cocaine.

• Best-in-class ceramic blades glide over tricky areas like a figure skater on a mission. No nicks, no screams from the bathroom.

• Our strongest motor yet—seriously, this thing could trim a hedge maze in Versailles.

• Re-engineered ergonomic design with matte grip: If Batman had a trimmer, it would feel like this. Powerful, precise, and surprisingly fun to hold.

• LED light strong enough to spotlight a crime scene, but better used for locating that one rogue hair in a dark corner.

• Silicone wrist strap + travel lock means she can pack it without fear of it buzzing its way through airport security like an angry bee.

• SackSafe™ Guard lets her pick her trim length (we love a woman who knows what she wants).

• Waterproof? Oh yeah. 100%. Shower. Bath. Rainstorm. All fair game.

• It even comes with a vanity-friendly dock and USB-C charging, because yes, she does deserve a trimmer pretty enough to live next to her perfume bottles.

The Aftermath

Reader, let me tell you: it worked.

No more awkward trimmer confrontations. No more unidentifiable hairs on my blades. No more awkward eye contact with my own reflection wondering, “Are we a communal trimmer couple now?”

She loves the Archibald.
She now talks about “her” BALLS trimmer like it’s a new friend.
She’s proud of it. She displays it. She named it. (It’s “Sir Nicks-a-Not.” I hate how good that is.)

More importantly? Her grooming game went from “chaotic neutral” to “confident queen.” Smooth, bump-free, and snatchin’ compliments like never before.

But Wait—What About Me?

Oh, don’t worry. I’ve since upgraded too. I mean, once you see the Archibald in action, it’s hard not to want one of your own. So yes, I now have my own Archibald, clearly labeled in permanent marker:
“NOT JESSICA’S.”

And look, it’s made trimming weirdly satisfying. I pop on the SackSafe™ Guard, fire up the LED, and go to town like a grooming ninja. No snags. No burns. No fear. Just clean, smooth vibes below the equator.

We’ve officially become a two-BALLS household.
#PowerCoupleGoals.

Moral of the Story?

If your girlfriend is “borrowing” your trimmer and you’re starting to question the sanctity of your blade’s personal space, do the smart thing:

💡 Go to BALLS.co and get her the Archibald Full Body Trimmer.

Trust me. Your relationship (and your groin) will thank you.

TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Rinse):

• Girlfriend kept stealing my BALLS trimmer to shave her pubes.

• I bought her the Archibald Full Body Trimmer from BALLS.co as a solution.

• It’s a game-changer: ergonomic, waterproof, strong motor, ceramic blades, LED light, and vanity-worthy.

• We’re both smooth, satisfied, and no longer passive-aggressively fighting over a trimmer.

• Buy one for your partner. Or yourself. Or both.

• And label them. Seriously. Save your relationship.

Smooth balls, smooth relationship. That’s science.