How to slide into a girl's DMs and get a reply

Sliding into a girl’s DMs is a delicate tightrope to walk in the dating game.

Done right, it’s a sure-fire way to pull. You exchange a few flirty messages, seal a date and suddenly that influencer you've been eyeing up on Instagram is sitting opposite you in Nando’s tagging you in her Veggie Cataplana story. Thank you, app Gods.

However done wrong, and all those hours (ok, minutes, whatever) spent carefully crafting the perfect intro were in vain and you’ve been left *gulps* on ‘read’. It’s a place no man wants to be.

So how do you slide into DMs? Well there are steps you can take to get that elusive reply. Read on for our ultimate do’s and don’t for sliding into a girl’s DMs successfully...

DONT'S

1. DON’T overdo it.

Girls sense when a guy is trying too hard and not being genuine with their DMs. This ain’t the circus so stop trying to put on a show and just keep things unique to who you are – there’s a reason everyone's obsessed with being their best #authenticself. Remember she probably gets DM’s from all over the place, so keep things short and sweet. It will get her attention a lot quicker.

2. DON’T EVER send a dick pic.

We can’t stress this enough. To this day, we've not heard of one single instance where this has worked. And even if it had? We refer you to our previous point: just don’t do it. No girl wants an unsolicited picture of your schlong showing up in her DM’s – it’s weird and creepy AF, ok? We don’t care if you’re hung like a donkey. Keep it in your pants and go channel that big dick energy in the gym or something.

3. DON’T just send emoji’s.

There’s nothing wrong with the odd ROFL face here and there (love that guy) but the power of words and y’know sentences and stuff, really shouldn’t be underestimated. Besides, what possible response were you hoping for when you sent five aubergines to @Mandy from Coventry?! 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 She’s likely to be completely baffled and unlikely to respond due to not knowing what to say. Instead, if you must emoji, send it along with a quick little DM. Sorted.

"Girls sense when a guy is trying too hard and not being genuine with their DMs"

4. DON’T be a dick.

There’s a big difference between flirting and just being a total penis. If a girl isn’t interested, cool. Move on. Sliding into her DM’s doesn’t give you carte blanche to bombard her with messages. Take the hint and make like Aaliyah: dust yourself off and try again… with someone else, obvs.

5. DON’T leave her on ‘read’.

Honestly mate, did the indignity of DM purgatory teach you nothing?? The whole ‘leave her hanging so she doesn’t think you’re too interested’ shtick just will not fly. It will only leave her uninterested and creates the opportunity for someone else to slide into her DMs. Don’t let that dude swoop in.

"The whole ‘leave her hanging so she doesn’t think you’re too interested’ shtick just will not fly."

DO'S

1. DO start with a name.

‘Hey sexy’, ‘hey beautiful’ – these intros are cheesy, hella impersonal and she’s definitely heard it all before. Acknowledge her by her name and it will show you’ve paid attention and actually gone to some effort to learn about her. The same old generic messages read as ‘copy and paste’ and that won’t do you any favours.

2. DO respond to stories.

Those off-the-cuff, in-the-moment posts she shares? They say so much more about her personality than a curated feed can, so it’s a great time to slide in and start up a conversation around something that she actually likes. Plus, she’s probably online right now – double win.

3. DO ask questions.

And yeah, we’re talking about something a little more meaningful and intentional than ‘what’s up?’ here. Asking questions she can actually respond to shows your interest and will likely make it way easier to strike up a convo.

4. DO make her laugh.

Humour can be a very powerful thing. Show her you don’t take the whole DM thing too seriously by having a laugh and poking fun at yourself. It will instantly put her at ease. Plus banter is basically the foreplay of DMs.

5. DO move to texts.

The end goal of sliding into a girls DM’s should be to move the convo along to text, so you can secure that IRL date. Getting her digits keeps things personal but don’t ask too soon – make sure you have a vibe going first, and she’ll be more likely to say yes. Once you’ve done that, arrange a date and the process of social media penpals to two human beings actually conversing in the flesh will soon be complete. Apparently people used to skip the social media part in the olden days and actually meet by going up to someone and talking to them. Who knew!

"The end goal of sliding into a girls DM’s should be to move the convo along to text, so you can secure that IRL date."

So there you have it: those are our do’s and don’ts for sliding into a girl’s DM’s.

Having said all that, the beauty of sliding into someone’s DM’s is that every person is individual. What’s funny/charming/interesting to one girl is a complete turn-off to another. There’s really no formula here, so get out there and if the chemistry is right – it’s right!

So there you have it: those are our do’s and don’ts for sliding into a girl’s DM’s.

Be natural, be genuine, don’t be a dick and you’re likely to start a conversation that can hopefully progress towards a real-life date if the mood is right.

Having said all that, the beauty of sliding into someone’s DM’s is that every person is individual. What’s funny/charming/interesting to one girl is a complete turn-off to another. There’s really no formula here, so get out there and if the chemistry is right – it’s right!