Show Us Your Balls: What Would You Do If It Meant England Could Win The World Cup?

By Chris Ware | Nov 22, 2022

England football fans.

They’re some of the most passionate fans in the world. From invading the pitch when the match hadn’t even finished in the 1966 World Cup final, to getting questionable tattoos of players on even more questionable parts of their bodies, England fans love The Beautiful Game.

England football fans are also notoriously some of the loopiest. From shaving and dyeing their chest hair and painting roundabouts, to betting on Paul the Octopus correctly predicting the outcome of games, England fans will take any opportunity they can to celebrate what many of them class as their religion.

(Disclaimer: Paul the Octopus actually lived in Germany but he was born in England, so that means that we claim him as our own, right? Kind of like what we do with Andy Murray at Wimbledon until he loses, and then he’s back to being a Scot again.)

Over the years we’ve seen English people do some crazy things in the name of football. From hitchhiking across continents to get to international games, Gary Lineker stripping down to his smalls on MOTD when Leicester City won the Premier League, and even streaking mid-game for publicity stunts, the English are a dedicated lot when it comes to getting their football fix.

But what about you? How far would you go if it meant that England could bring the World Cup trophy back home with them from Qatar?

Fill in the survey

We’re going to go out on a limb here (magic sponge, please) and say that you’d do anything, right? Yeah, that’s what we thought you’d say - but we want you to prove that you’re not all mouth and no trousers, which is why we’ve put together a survey of some pretty extreme scenarios.

Every entry into the survey gets put into a draw to win a Balls V2 trimmer worth £89, and it takes less time to complete than it takes for Steven Gerrard to say ‘yeeeeaaaahhhhh, course’ in a post-match interview.

So take our loyalty test and show us how big your Balls are.

Take the survey


  • You must be a UK citizen in order to enter
  • Your email address will only be used to notify you if you have won
  • We do not take any of your personal data or information
  • You must answer all questions in order to be entered into the draw

What to shave your testicles with?

But what makes the skin smooth?  The BALLS trimmer, of course! Better than scissors, razors, depilatory cream or wax, the BALLS trimmer is the best tool available on the market today to ensure you ...

Man’s refusal to keep his 6-yard box match-ready leaves him on the bench

We recently ran a survey to ask what lengths you would go to if it meant that England could win the World Cup. You came up with some truly wacky suggestions but we knew to take a lot of them with a...

How to Shave Your Testicles Without Hurting Yourself

Basically, it's simple: don't be in a hurry, use good equipment, use electric clippers, avoid wax and depilatory cream, take a hot shower, remove the stubble, use shaving oil, stretch the skin, be ...

AN ARSE FULL OF CRISPS: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT MEANT ENGLAND COULD WIN THE WORLD CUP?

BALLS™ recently ran a survey to find out what you would be prepared to do if it meant that England could bring the World Cup back home to Blighty. And you didn’t disappoint. Oh boy, did you not di...